Prayer for 22 December 2008

A frozen world

A world that stops as everything stops moving,

A world that is hard to live in.

A world that needs changing,

Thawing,

But in this world is beauty,

The snow covers up so much,

Under the ice, the water still flows,

The light is just a bit longer

Just a bit (exactly 7 seconds today).

There is life coming.

This is the world you chose and choose to enter.

Come,

Warm me with your love, light and warmth,
Come,

Change my world,
Come.
In your mercy, hear me.

Amen

A prayer for 22 December 2008

Faith is planting a seed when there is no sign of rain and no clouds in the sky.
Faith is saying yes to something you believe in, Not knowing what the future holds.
Faith is troubling,
Faith is all I have today because of the hope I have in the messiah.
One who comes to save.
Save with peace.
Save with love,
Save with justice.
Save in ways that do not point to a warrior but a child.
A person building from the position of love and peace will build a new world.
A new world will come.
A real peace will come.
A child will lead them.
May Christmas be in my heart this year.

Thanks be to God.

Amen

a view

A frozen world,
Ice glazed.
Birds dancing on the deck,
Blue skies.
When the sun hits the trees it begins to rain,
The rain that was once frozen to the limbs comes alive.
It drops upon the ice on the ground and makes the glaze appear to float.
Once slick,
Now mush.
Only to freeze again when the sun goes away.

A Prayer for 21 December 2008

Excerpt from Inward/Outward email dated 20 Dec 08

It is very remarkable that we face the thought that God is coming so calmly, whereas previously peoples trembled at the day of God, whereas the world fell into trembling when Jesus Christ walked over the earth. We have become so accustomed to the idea of divine love and of God's coming at Christmas that we no longer feel the shiver of fear that God's coming should arouse in us.  (Dietrich Bonheoffer)

 

God of the morning,

We should be in awe,

We should be shouting in the fields,

We should be running through the streets shouting,

“You better be ready”

We see the coming birth as a day of a child,

But it is for me,

For if there is no birth,

There is no death and ressurection,

The real gift of life for me.

 

 

I pray my heart is on fire for you today.

While I await your coming.

Come and bring peace.

Amen

A prayer for Saturday 20 December 2008

I was ready to be sought by those who did not ask for me;
I was ready to be found by those who did not seek me.
I said, ‘Here am I, her am I,’ to a nation that did not call on my name.
Isaiah 65

Great and Loving Creator,
What can I do?
What can I say?
How does my heart respond to your prophet’s words?
I ask this today as I watch my world around me.
As I seek to answer the questions.
As my heart reaches to you,
May my answer see you in the world.
Reaching,
Loving,
Giving,
That is you in my life.
With your grace I respond today,
Amen

A prayer for Friday 19 December 2008

Loving God,
You come to those in fields,
You come to those on walks,
You come to those when we are not ready.
But you are ready to change us.
If only we are more willing to listen.
Listen and be ready.
For you do come.
And you keep trying to reach me.
May I just be long enough to be reached.
In your mercy,
Hear my prayer.
Amen

Prayer for 18 December 2008

Feeling hope.
Holy and Loving God,
I wait for the light, feeling some hope,
The hope that comes with that little feeling
The hope that comes with answered prayers,
The hope that comes with a purpose for your children
The hope that holds fast to the you.
Because you are faithful,
You are faithful.
You are faithful.
With your faith in me I have hope for myself.
No matter what, you don’t give up on me.
You keep reaching out to me.
I just need to be open to your reaching.
May I reach back today.
Amen

A prayer. 17 December 2008

God,
I know you are present today,
I know that you love me,
Even me.
I know that your love is freely given
Yet for me to give it, I put on conditions.
Lord,
Open me to the love so that I can learn to give it more.
And see you in the love I give to others,
For this is what the coming of Christ is all about,
Love coming to us,
Abiding with us,
Giving to us so that we can be renewed,
Made new.
See you again this year.
As a child from the heart of this child.
In your love I pray,

Amen

A Prayer for December 16th 2008

“Christmas itself does not change. It is we who change, and the world we inhabit.” From essays on Theology, 15 Dec 2008
Fr Richard P. McBrien is the Crowley-O’Brien Professor of Theology at the University of Notre Dame.


God of today,
I am looking for change but I see it differently today,
I want to change things but I see I need to change,
I need to stop,
I need to see the world,
I need to pray for my friends,
I need to understand my world,
I need to Christmas to be made new again.
Where it is about a child and change.
Where light comes and darkness fades.
Where my heart is loosened and fears are set free
Where peace reigns
Where love prevails,
Where my neighbor is set free from oppression.
May this be the change in my world this Christmas.
Lord, give me strength today.
Amen

A Prayer for Monday, December 15th 2008

Prepared.
Prepared for what is coming?
This is what I got from reading the lectionary scriptures for this week.
I was singing a gospel song “You gonna be ready?” since then.

Most loving God,
You use me in ways I can never imagine.
You tell me not to be afraid.
You are with me.
You are coming.
So I ask out loud, Am I ready for this?
Am I ready to go out?
Am I ready to listen?
Am I ready to pray without ceasing?
Am I ready to see a light in a new way?
Am I ready?

I can only pray and ask that you prepare me Lord God.
In the ways you use me.
Ready me
Amen

Praying

Wanting so much, needing so little. I keep wondering. Will it?

Slow Sunday

A day to read the paper, magazines and books. Too bad I was out of my favorite tea. I have to fix that.

Sighting this week

Monday - Heavy traffic.
Tuesday - The riderless horse being escorted to the old chapel by an honor guardsman. Beautiful horse.
Wednesday - Extremely heavy traffic in Georgetown. Cars double parked.
Thursday - A beehive and beekeeper while out for a walk
Friday - Snow and over 30 power generating windmills in PA.
Saturday - I went back to the beehive and took pictures. Deer while out for a bikeride.

Not wanting too

Whatever that means. I feel I am in limbo, trying to figure so much out on my own.

I think I need to ask more.

What do I do?

At 7am in the bike lane on the Key Bridge, a bridge between Washington DC and Arlington VA, two of the wealthiest communities in this country, I almost ran over a sleeping homeless person. It was below 40 and the only shelter is the jersey wall that keeps the traffic from going onto the bike path. This person was asleep. Curled up. Countless people had passed by him this morning. I did too. I wondered too late if he was alright.

Which way?

Sometimes this sign says it all.

Fall

A leaf hangs
Suspended in a spider web.
caught between
Hanging and being on the ground
One life over,
Now getting ready to rest on the ground.
Fall,
the colors explode
Once green, now orange, yellow, brown
Once, so alive,
Now getting ready for the big sleep of winter.
Life slowing down
A time of rest,
As we wait for a return to living.

A bin of Bread

Holy Lord,
Is it enough,
Will it meet the needs,
Yesterday’s bread to someone is today’s bread to someone.
What was once fresh, has a second chance,
For the people in this world who see the need and respond,
Thanks,
For those who are hungry,
Bless them,
For us who want to help,
Guide us,
For the bread,
Make it enough.
Just for today.
Tomorrow is another day and I’ll worry about it then.
Amen

BikeDC

My days of living dangerously have continued,
I rode up the middle of Massachusetts Ave and Pennsylvania Ave.
I wanted to stop and lay in the middle of the road but I was having too much fun,
I also wanted to stop and take a picture with 0 cars in the road too.
There were puddles to be ridden through,
New friends to meet.
A rest stop at the residence of the Ambassador from Taiwan,
Tricycle races(I passed on this one)
It was BikeDC and we rode around town with no cars on the road.
It was so much fun (and safe).

Humbled

Riding home yesterday was a new experience. A sI was riding through Fort Myer, I came up on the horse drawn carriage going back to the caisson after another day of the last trip for this veteran. The beauty of the horses. The spit and polish of the carriage.
The slow, somber walk of the horses.
Made me slow down for a while.

Seeking

Spiritual direction.  I am contacting different persons about who/what/where next.  Journeys sometimes take paths that are difficult to understand.  This is my time to pray about it.

3rd Time is the charm

Bee sting, 3rd time this summer.
Lower leg so Benadryl works just fine. I am riding home and pass a man and woman walking a big red lab/setter mix when I feel it and starting yelling ow, ow, ow, ow and pull over. I swat the bee off and the couple was looking at me like I was nuts. I said it was a bee sting and they were amazed that a bee had flew into me and stung me.

Now for the week of itching to come.
May I pray that the rest of the bees just pass me by.

Awakenings

Having a kitten lick your eyes while I want to sleep. Guess I need to teach them to tell time.

Fading

Letting it all fade away. Calming myself. Letting go.
I think this is where I am today.

What was that?

After the worst Monday ever, Tuesday was bearable. I was watching a squirrel in the back yard grabbing a stick then rolling down the hill. A squirrel playing? Rolling around down the hill? That was really a first. Wish I had my camera with me then.

Hanging out

Praying a lot. Thinking about others. Wanting this knee pain to be gone.
Wondering. That is what it is about today.

Knowing

It is time. I know it. I made the appointment. Vet tech irked me when I explained to him that I had been in twice in the past month and the situation was only worse. I have to do something I find hard.

Cowabunga kitties

Getting two kittens has been fun. They jump at everything and everyone.

Waiting

Watching Alex. Is it time?
He has spark but his legs are failing him.

Itch

Bee sting turned to a real itch. It took three days before it got better.

Stung!

Again. I got stung last week when something flew down my jersey.. Today I got it on the inseam, real upper inseam. How to ruin a ride. I turned around and went home. Putting anti-itch cream on. Since each time there was no stinger left, I am thinking wasp or yellowjacket. Either way I think I need a break from them.

Celebrating

Alex has gained a half a pound in 2 weeks. That is good news. He is up to 5.6 pounds. He even looks happy. Happy with no teeth.

Wondering

Is this lion going to eat me?

Me watching a lion on the Seregeti plain.

Wildlife

There are signs of spring everywhere. I went to trim bushes around the house and I discover a robin nesting in a holly bush. Me and I’ll say she kind of startled each other. I agreed to give her a wide birth for the next few weeks.
I was cleaning my bicycle car also. The bushes are still flowering which means they are full of bumble bees. I made a deal with them; I leave you alone and you leave me alone. It seems to be working.
Stoopid (I know) woodpecker. There is a woodpecker who has not figured out that the trim on the house is aluminum. Every few days you hear rat-tat-tat-tat and it shakes you to the bone. I think I have seen the culprit at the bird feeder. I have to wonder about this one….
Squirrels. They are digging up all the mulch around the house. I have to level it off every few days. Another funny thing is watching a squirrel running with a hamburger bun in it’s mouth. I will throw out old bread, buns, tortillas into the yard for the wild life instead of putting it in the trash. I had to smile watching this squirrel bounding through the yard with a hamburger bun in it’s mouth. It was a funny sight to see.

Adventures in lawnmowing

Sheer terror and fear that drains the blood out of you. Doesn’t sound much like lawn mowing does it? It is. After 3 days of rain we get a nice, sunny dry day before another day of rain. I had decided to mow the lawn because it was looking kind of bad for tomorrow. All my neighbors had the same idea so here we all are, out doing yard work except for me, it didn’t start that way.

Sheer fear. I went out to get the lawnmower out of the shed. There is a flowering tree out back right above the shed and it is in full bloom. I opened the door and noticed a loud hum above my head so I looked up and saw that the tree was full of honeybees. The blood drained from me. My first thought was “Where is my Epipen?” I remembered I keep it with my helmet and I have told “da wif” where the other ones are. I did get the lawnmower out and then brought it around front to “da wif’s” car where she has a plug in pump for tires. I got the tires all pumped up and everything put away so it was time to start mowing…

Sheer terror. I had left it in gear when I turned the lawnmower off, so when I pulled the starter line, it leaped away from me so here I was trying to turn it off, trying to turn it away from “da wif’s” car and other things in the yard. I managed to turn it off, get my wit about me and then mowed the lawn. I wonder what it looks like to be in sheer terror.
I am done mowing, now I smell like onions…..

Buzzing about

Spring. It is in the air and all over everything too. Cars are yellow. We are sneezing quite frequently. Bees are about. Their buzzing is loud, or I thought. Lots of bumble bees out front and I thought the buzzing was them. Then is heard a shift in the drone and realized it was the race cars again. Come on Monday morning, so I can be through with another race weekend.... Lots of bumble bees out front. Here is one!

They don't get it

Remember from the Wizard of Oz?
Lion, tigers and bears oh my!
I think the people today are saying;
Iraq, elections, economy, oh my!
When I heard Darth Cheney's comments on the death toll in Iraq I was shocked,
"You regret every casualty, every loss," he said. "The president is the one that has to make that decision to send young men and women into harm's way. It never gets any easier."

Duh, Why did you send them in the first place?
Money?? Power? Oil?

You missed the whole point of serving the people. Not for you own good but for the good of all people.

Funeral

A funeral on Holy Saturday. The church was packed and the service went on for over two hours. The music was great and the preaching touched me. Life in a small community reaches out and touches you sometimes. Rest in peace Lady Di.

Up to my ears

That is how I feel now. So much to do, prioritize and then get back to it. Must make it past Sunday........

Seasons Change

had to mow the lawn this week. My wife thought I was nuts. There are flowers everywhere. I am sneezing like crazy. There is noise. It sounds like racecars. Not like I live 5 miles from the racetrack but I do. We can still hear them. The local newspaper is showing all these drivers who I have no idea who they are. The big race here is on the 30th. The nuts will be in town and all the advertisements will be out.

Sightings at a funeral

Delivery to a cemetery!

I just had a funeral service for a wonderful man in my community. It was bright but chilly and the birds were singing. The people were telling me about the birds they saw and the others they heard during the service.

Me and the funeral directors had a different view. Dominos Pizza making a delivery into the cemetery during the service. We (the persons facing the street) were trying to figure out who ordered pizza.
A last wish?
A really late delivery?

Easter Thoughts

Flowers everywhere. Signs of new life. Life emerging from the ground.

Death and Life? Symbols? What does it mean.

Getting into the Bible belt has really gotten to me. Going to my least favorite big box store,

You know the one; the ones that sucks the small businesses out of the economy and provided low paying jobs without a whole lot of benefits. (A Social sermon for another day)

I am walking by and what do I see? Easter Baskets. Not the kind you would normally see but ones with toys in it Still not catching on? Toys that are not about the Easter Message. How about Army Men and a Tank for your child in their Easter Basket. I felt anger at their secular approach to the whole reason for the Christian Church. New Life. Light that beats death. Life that is abundant. Not this:

Copy Cat

Last cat post for a while. Me and my copier have a love/hate relationship. I love to hate it and it gets back at me. Just wait, when you have 5 minutes and need 30 copies of something when you got to be there, it will start jamming.


I see Alex has started seeing if there are any little elves in it.

Sneaking up on Boo Radley

This has nothing to do with:
http://www.bookrags.com/notes/tkm/CHR.htm
but it has to do with playing some lined out music that I had recorded from a Primative Baptist Choir. It is similar to a bagpipe the way the people slide into notes and the leader gives a line the people sing and while they are singing he give another line.

I was playing some and it spooked Alex. He hid for more than 2 hours. I wonder if he is scared of bagpipes.

Anointed or Owned?

Goose has been a trip recently. Whenever the sunspot goes away, he comes to the room we are in, meows at us then bids us to follow. We have this game we call "Chase Chase". He always initiates it by coming to us and meowing, we follow and chase him from room to room. This can go on for 5 to 10 minutes and all over the house with Goose tearing from room to room. The funny part is, it is so easy to sneak up on a deaf cat.

When he is ready, he will run to the bed and invite us to come and join him. He usually then, licks our forehead, headbutts us, and purrs really loud. It is an anointing by Goose. I also know he owns us. Not bad to be owned by a cat who 6 years ago would run from me.(We adopted hm then)

Goose left - Alex right

Screaming

Another leak. Another leaky roof. I have to wonder about things around here with all the leaking roofs. Maybe it is me screaming at the process in general. Silent Prayer.

Ice, Ice Baby

How unpoetic..... A vanilla ice rap song. I am content with my coffee and things I need to do today. No hurry. No worry. Peace, Quiet. Love.
Thinking about one of those Caribbean cruises I have been on.

Another Mystery – Solved!

I have been waking to a light being on in the bedroom and I did not turn it on. I come home and the lamp is on and I know it was off. We have touch lamps on nightstands that make life easy when we turn them on or off when we need light. To have them come on by themselves had me wondering.
I know whenever we had a power flux, they might come on but it was just happening too frequently so I thought they were failing.
I was in there yesterday and the phone rang and the light came on. I found out the why!!!
It appears when I moved some power cords I had crossed the phone line over the power cord. EM interference. I thought I had retired from this kind of stuff.
At least I don’t have the lamps going on anymore….

Lunch Buddy

I was asked to be a lunch buddy at one of the local elementary schools. I signed up, went through the mandatory background checks, then said I am available to anyone that needs a buddy. I was assigned a 3rd grader. This has been so much fun because I go in every few weeks and sit down at tables about half human size and eat fine dining, elementary school style. I also see kids from the local churches and neighborhoods that know me. It is so funny to see the smiles and waves from all of the kids. Well today, I had lunch with my “Honor roll lunch buddy” as I called him. He smiled and it was good to see him start to relax. I just love seeing all the smiles and hearing the stories from them. The kids in trouble for break dancing during PE. The kids having a silent lunch for talking out of turn. The strange things you can do with ketchup. I think this is a break from the past two weeks I have had. Seeing young ones is always a treat.

Excited

I was working last night on stuff and I kept hearing strange noises on the roof. I went out and found out it was sleeting, freezing rain and snowing. Sweetie has 1 inch of snow for her B'Day. I was exited enough to call out in German to her. Shades of getting snowed on in Munich and Salzburg. Those are good memories. 5 Years ago in Arlington when MIL got stuck with us for 5 days because of the blizzard....... you decide.

12:59 AM

I woke up again this morning soaked and hot but this time I had the Goose on me. He was asleep on my chest. I moved him and Alex moved in for his purr time. Goose them proceeded to stomp me and did circles over my head and around me. I do not think I slept well last night.

So here is Goose in a face plant on the bed.

Don't we all wish we could sleep this well?

Lent

A new journey. A new time. I am hoping to have more prayer time this year. I think that is what I am taking on. More time in silence. A thought in this world of noise and confusion.
Lord, open me to walk with you.

Mardi Gras

Great Tuesday is the literal translation. Eat and drink like there is no tomorrow because tomorrow you may die. Guess what? Everyday is like Mardi Gras. A gift. I think I might just be a little down today. 75 outside and I have to work. Really have to but it is my calling. Maybe I should put my bicycle outside so it remembers what warm weather is all about.

Missing Charlotte

Last night as I went to bed, I checked on her spot to she if she was settled in for the night. I then remembered that she has passed on.

Bird Feeder

We purchased some cheap (cheep) bird food at one of the chain stores. Talk about picky. The birds did not touch it. I put up a suet feeder and it remained untouched for a few days. No hawks or falcons that I can see but still no action at the bird feeder. I dumped the stuff and put in "premium" bird food and what a difference. Gold finches, cardinals, chickadees, tufted titmouses, junkoes and others all over the place. Do they have expensive taste?

Reflections

Yesterday was a bust as far as snow goes. Not much of anything. Waking to freezing fog was different. I've been thinking about this past week. What a blur. I just can not believe how much I had to do, go too and be at in a professional capacity. I think I will take it easy tomorrow and read some. The snow is forecast east of us.

Snow

They are forcasting nasty stuff for this region tomorrow. I guess I can stay home and watch movies!

Creation

Are we a perfect accident?

Something to think about.

Blessing of Peace

Eternal wellspring of Peace,
May we be drenched with the longing for peace
that we may give ourselves over
as the earth to the rain, to the dew
until peace overflows our lives
as living waters overflow the seas.

Book of Blessing p250

Strange sightings

Out for a bike ride I am going by a pond that there are white swans residing in it. As I go by I see a mitre hat and I thought the Pope must have jumped in and lost his hat. Funny it was a swan mooning me while looking for food on the bottom.
I must get my glasses checked.

Fruit Cake

I had a unique experience last week. While we were at the cannery, a family was making their annual fruitcake. I am not a fan of fruitcake but this was interesting. They mixed the mix and then put it into 15 oz cans then wrapped the tops with aluminum foil in the shape of a chimney. The cans were then put in the steamer for about 30 minutes then removed. The aluminum foil was removed and the cake that had risen above the top of the can was sliced off. The cans were then sealed and then steamed again for 30 minutes.
I had the chance to try some of it, reluctantly, and was quite surprised that it was an apple sauce, nutmeg and cinnamon flavor and was good.
My opinion of fruitcakes has been changed forever. It takes one good one to erase years of bad cakes.

Randomness

I needed to get a good spin in and think about my day ahead. I had the Ipod on random while warming up and a song I had not listened to recently came on. I heard the words:
Though I'm many miles away
I'll forever hear you say
I am your child
Please will you love me
Won't you stay my little one

I live to change your world
I live to change your world
Oh how you've changed my world
Know the kindness of God
Will make a way
(Darlene Zschech - Change your world)

Sweat is dripping off of me, my heart rate is about 150,
I am spinning at 90rpm and all I can think is we need to change a little everyday.
Not a lot but a little.
Just keep on changing because that is what God is calling me to do.

Friday Adventures

Making stew with one of my churches ended up being the most interesting Friday I have had in a long time. After a fire drill last night, today seemed more interesting. Learning the house beside the old parsonage that we had just sold burned down, they were being evicted and they thought it was my house on fire last night, I had to explain to another pastor’s spouse that we had moved into a house that actually is livable…

Going up to the cannery this morning proved interesting. I had no idea why people were going so slow until I hit my brakes and the ABS kicked in. We have ice. Black ice. The kind you can not see. I was wondering why all the school buses had pulled off the roads and were sitting there. I came to find out later that the rain we had was not expected and the temperatures were cooler than expected. My little thermometer in my car said 28 and it was raining. The cars on the road were doing about 15 and I said, they live here, they know the roads, best that I just follow. After passing two cars off I the ditches, I am thankful that the inner voice told me to be cautious.
While making stew, a worker from the school came in and told us what was going on and that the school was closed. Nothing we could do except keep on stirring.

I got home smelling like stew, showered and had 2 cats love me because I still smell. All in all, I really productive day full of blessings and grace.

How to look busy

During the season, the clergy I know are quite busy, but are we forgetting our focus? I think that the coming light gives hope, the coming light is a gift to us and the exchanging of gifts just is not about the latest gadget but what is in our hearts. Exchange love, give peace, look for joy, bring hope. That is my plea today.

Feelings after a Visit

I visit
There is light, barely.
Your eyes don’t have that smile I remember
You look at me or it feels like you are looking through me.
Where is the curl in the corner of your lips?
I am talking to you but there is no response.
I hold your hand, it is cool to the touch.
The bed alarms are making noises.
I pray for you. I ask for blessings for you.
I say goodbye and I struggle.
Mary, Your life was once so full.
Now you just lie in bed.
Are you there?
I am I reaching you?

1:02

I awaken to the soft, warm, furry thing in the small of my back.
I am warm to the point of perspiring.
I move away from you but you nudge back.
You seek my warmth.
I arise and seek the cooling water.
I return to the softness and warmth of the bed and you decide it is time to purr loud in my face.
What does sleep mean to you?
Am I there for heat osmosis?
After a few minutes of purring and kneading, you doze off.
So do I.
Just to awaken and find a soft, warm, furry thing in the small of my back.

Change of seasons

I have started volunteering at a local elementary school. I think a postitive influence on children may help. Neat kids. I have started weight lifting again to get my upper body stronger and more tone. Advent is upon me and I do not have anything original to offer. It is new to the persons, but not to me.

Looking out on the world seeing the change in life:

Fall Invasions

The leaves are in full color and it is striking. Much more than I could ever imagined. Because we are in such a rural area, the temperature really drops like a rock. We have had 40 degrees swings between the morning 30 and the afternoon 70, so much different than my suburban lifestyle where the temperature moderated because of all the civilization. I can say that the frost on the ground, the frozen pond, the smell in the air makes it so much more worth it to be here right now.
I counted over 20 robins in my yard today as they migrate to wherever robins migrate. I also saw a chipmunk chasing the robins out of its acorn patch then climb a tree. I had no idea that chipmunks could climb trees .
We also have had low flying geese come through squawking as they came by. The next day we had low flying Marines. So you ask, “What are low flying Marines?”
2 legged arthropods that come in helicopters. That is correct. Martinsville has been invaded by Marines that are doing pre-deployment training. I made a comment that I really did not miss the sound of low flying aircraft that I was so accustomed too in Arlington. Now I know that I did not miss them. My usual silence was so interrupted by all this invading and storming buildings that kept me looking up instead of getting the quarter-zillion things I need to get done this week.

A Rainy day at the beach

I went to the beach for some time away and ended up doing work anyway.
Here are my thoughts as I watched the rain.

I should be studying…

Da Beach.
Rain.
It comes down and the people move in.
The flip flops are no more as shoes come out of the closet.
The beaches are empty,
The footprints washed away.
The birds stand as they wonder where the next french fry is going to come from.
Puddles are everywhere and so are the cars.
Restaurants are full as the people scramble indoors.
The clouds, dark and dreary bring needed relief.
The air is heavy, the wind is calm,
The waves gently wash onto the beach and find no footprints to cover.
A set of toes finds the surf.
It is still warm.
Ah, vacation on a rainy day.
Life turns inward.

12:43 AM

Light dances on the walls.
A distant rumble rolls across the room.
The light gets brighter
The rumbles get louder.
Brightness and sounds grow.
I arise and go to the sun room to watch the storm.
Goose is spooked and appears to be running,
Looking,
Searching.
The rain starts,
The lightning flashes.
The thunder booms.
The phone rings, The lightning flashes, the house shakes.
That was a close one.
Again, A flash, A ring and a boom.
The cats are agitated.
Slowly the lightning moves away,
The sounds grow fainter.
The only sound is a gentle rain.
A needed refreshment of the land
Light dances from a different direction.
Time for more sleep.

Life in a rural area:

Seeing the swallowtail butterfly all over the area is just a blessing, then to know that the tiger swallowtail butterfly is the state butterfly and it is plentiful around here is just so different that what I am used too. I have seen monarch butterflies and that was a shock to me. I am absolutely amazed at all the butterflies around here. It reminds me of a person in my life who was fond of butterflies. May she rest in peace.
I was also saw the first ruby throated hummingbird in my backyard this morning. I have been thinking about getting a hummingbird feeder but am not sure where to put it. Now that I know there are a few in my area, I am considering it more.
We have two chipmunks in our yard. Chip in the front and Munk in the back. They do a good job of cleaning up under the bird feeder but they can not be in the same area at the same time. They will jump each other and it is so funny to watch these little critters fight. It lasts about 1 second. I also think it is neat that they ignore or chase the birds on the ground. Watching this little guy standing up to a bluejay is a sight.
We have deer and rabbits in the yard but da wif seems to not see them.

I'm still here

I'm just not sure what to post. Anyone out there?

Goose

I watched Goose sleeping and had these thoughts:
For Goose.

You lay on the pillow,
In the corner.
Sleeping,
Snoring,
Content.

I watch you as you dream,
An ear flick,
A paw curls,
Your tail raises
and falls.
Your leg stretches out.

What are you dreaming about?
Are you a kitten playing with your siblings?
Are you next to your mother purring and being cleaned?
Are you chasing butterflies in the meadow?
Are you admiring the birds at the feeder?
What goes on in your mind?

You are curled up and happy.
I can’t bother you.
That would not be right.
You are dreaming,
And dreaming is what you do best.

New Community Adventures

Went out for my first bike ride to deliver bulletins to my churches. Ride was better than I thought it would be. I was afraid of the redneck pickup trucks but all I got was respect from everyone on the road. I even rode back along the major 4 lane highway with little or no shoulders and that went extremely well.
First thing I noticed is there are some wonderful views of the mountains from back in the hills. Also, there are some major hills back there. I had a flat on one of my bikes so I took one not meant for this type of terrain. My quads are telling me that they got a workout.

I stopped at each church altar and prayed for each of the congregations. I pray that things work well for us.
Now as for the furniture.... It is supposed to be delivered today. Today is Saturday. I'm waiting.

Moving is a contact sport

At least I feel that what. My body has cuts, scrapes and bruises all over it. Moving the boxes down the stairs let me know where every corner was. Having a door fall on the back of my leg (Movers fault) hurt like you would not believe.
Being so tired from the day, my knee gave out as I started going down the stairs and I fell backwards. Nothing hurt, just awkward.
I sit in a clean house waiting for one last person so I can start the trip to my new home. This house has been my home, now it is time to be someone elses. I blessed the house and the new occupants.

Saying Goodbye

Today is one of those days I really hate. I am saying goodbye to a friend. She and I have been through much these past three years and I am moving not knowing if I will ever see her again. I wish her well. May God bless her and her ministry.

Packing and the little things

Packing and getting the little things done. Moving is not fun, but.. I am looking forward to starting this new chapter in my life. What is different. I trust. I trust that I am not in charge. I trust that I am listening to what God would have me do.
Moving to a new town is going to be fun.
I pray that I make a difference in the world.
I pray that things work out for what I face.

Life snuck up on me this morning.

How things change in a minute.
I was sitting there quietly when an email arrived from someone I went to high school with.via this really annoying reunion site.

I almost deleted the email but since I could not sleep I let the link take me to the post.
It announced that my best friend from my childhood had died of a heart attack. It also said his mother was in ill health.
My heart sank.
Someone I had grown up with and lost touch with had died.
I still know his birthday and his phone number. I know his 3 brothers and 1 sister’s names. I feel awful that I could not get in touch with him all these years but I did try a few times.

I went out for my bike ride and started reminiscing the things we did together.
Going to a movie for my 10th birthday. Bedknobs and Broomsticks. The sleep overs at his house and at my house. The tornado that damaged his house when I was in the 4th grade. I remember going into the forest and seeing all the downed trees.
His family was Catholic and I attended CCD with him on more than one occasion. I was heartbroken when I received a tract from my church saying that all Catholics were going to hell. I just could not believe someone so good and pure as him was going to go to hell.

I moved away and came back 5 years later and we never resumed the relationship. I was now the product of an over-crowded school system with apathetic teachers and had fallen behind him in academic life. He was one of the brains in the school and I was just average.

I found his obituary in his local paper and find he leaves a wife and 3 children behind and was attending a Baptist church. I need to reach out to his family and let them know I will miss him. He showed me friendship and his family showed me hospitality. Somethings we all need to show to others.

225th Annual Conference

Vote, preach, talk, wonder, great new people, sing, stand, get hot from the lack of adequate AC, have a great time!!!

Blogging from the Conference

What were they thinking?

I was out the other day and I saw this:

Someone had bottomed out this SUV on the bike trail. The tow truck was there to get it off but how in the world did it get there in the first place?

Move and I'll bite you

Out for a ride this morning and the animals were out. Traffic on the roads was bad so any crossing meant I had to watch out for the cars speeding.
Getting to Vienna, I saw a black cat with a collar out for a stroll on the bike trail. He was not even phased by the bikes going past him.

A few hundred yards later I see a mangy looking fox. He scampered off.
Out before Reston where the bridge washed out last year and they are repairing it now, I ran into one of the workers showing me his latest catch in the stream. One really mad snapping turtle. I stopped and got a picture of this one.
On my way back I saw a rabbit, squirrel all trying to become road kill.
Just wish my knee didn't hurt so much.

Thoughts on starting to fight for life.

Its not time.

I look at you and you only want to be held.
You are a little wobbly in the legs.
You have lost a little weight,
But you continue to give.
You give unconditionally.
You keep coming up to me,
Wanting to be held, wanting to be near me.
I searched within myself to say
I want to fight this.
I want you to stay around a little while.
Am I being selfish?
Yes. I feel this fight is within you.
I see that you have life within you.
I want to have you around.
I want to hold you and have you next to me in the middle of the night.
Only by your choice.
But I say that its not time.

Watching

Alex is doing OK.

I have been watching him after his diagnosis.
He is very pesky toward Charlotte.
I want to bring him back and see if we can have the lump removed.
I wonder how he feels.

Goose was very friendly to me this morning and Charlotte actually is friendly,
Just if she did not give me so many upchucks.
I'll keep watching.
Nothing more to do.

Another Ode

Ode to a Birdfeeder
We purchased you to be entertainment for the 4 footed felines.
Instead you give us a show.
Chickadees, red finches, gold finches, cardinals, Blue jays, Titmice, tufted titmice, sparrows, black birds,Carolina wrens, downies, red headed wood peckers, hawks, falcons all come for some sort of feeding.
Things that sing, things that chirp, things that hammer on the wood railing.
All kind of noises you draw in.
There are birds we can not identify, squirrels hanging on, raccoons getting into the birdfood.
Possums out for a quick snack.
Cats waiting on dinner from one of the visitors to you.

How entertaining you are, to me.
The cats lost interest years ago.

Ode to Alex

For Alex.

You greet me at the top of the stairs.
Your eyes are bright and ears are erect, perky.
You come to be and I enfold you in my arms.
You come close to me and the purrs begin.
I crawl into bed and you lay next to me,
Head under my chin, your body so close to mine.
Is this what you want?
The warmth and attention?
I can give this to you as long as you want.
Your unconditional love and affection is important.
Your desire to be with me warms my heart.
How much longer?
Will you be with me?
Will you be perky?
Will you tell me when it is time?

A bike ride for a Thursday

I decided to go for a bike ride after writing a sermon. I needed time to think about what I wrote. Rain was threatening but I said that I needed to get outside.

I suited up and questioned whether I needed tights or not and chose not too.
I got everything ready and then put on my helmet. I could not figure out why it was so hard to get it right and why it felt so bad. Then I asked myself “where are my glasses?” Under my helmet.
I headed out and seemed to hit really light traffic. As I passed Wilson Boulevard, I passed another bicyclist. Further on, closer to Falls Church, I slowed down because of the curves and the other rider caught up with me. As we waited at a light to cross the rode, I looked up and saw a bald eagle being chased by two crows. Something I’ve never seen in Falls Church. We talked for a whole as we rode I lost him when I charged a green light I knew had a short cycle. The other rider didn’t make it and had to wait. I kept on going and after I crossed through Vienna, I encountered 5 deer and seemed to chase them down the trail for about 100 yards. I slowed down so they could make a break for it.
Once I entered Reston the rain started. I questioned whether to turn around and make it a 33 miler or press on toward Herndon, my planned route. I pressed on and there were very few people out. I had rain dripping off my glasses and kept second guessing myself. I did make it to Herndon and then took my street route turn around and headed back, as fast as I dared to ride.

Once I was past Reston, the rain stopped. I had no problems as I stopped in Vienna at a store looking for a specialty item that I need to make scones. They did not carry it… I was bummed. I remember the thoughts I had about daffodils and dandelions. I think God likes dandelions more than daffodils. Why? There are so many of them and they last longer. I would make a change if God gave me the option.
I remembered that I forgot my epipen as I saw all the flowers and trees in bloom. Dumb move….

I made it back and called da wif. She asked me how my knee was. I then straightened my leg and made funny sounds as I realized I was in pain. She noticed I was then breathing hard. I went and took more painkillers and cleaned up.
A little rain and a good bike ride. 40 miles in about 2 hours. I still don’t like my knee.

I didn’t think about my sermon the whole time.

%&!%&)!% Socks

I was talking about my sock dilemma the other day and they said this is the way Seinfield got his start. Talking about his sock on late shows. Since I really have never watched late shows since I had to be at work most of the time before the sun rose, I had no idea what was on. I then went to think I missed Friends, Seinfeld, Survivor and any other show on Thursday nights forever but at least I can sing....

Back to the socks....
I was wondering what had happened to the missing socks and was looking in the trashcan located in the laundry room. I looked at all the lint and wondering if they were my lost socks. I looked behind the drier and there was one sock there. I was so excited. I can't figure out how it got there and why it was dirty either so it got washed.

When I finished all the laundry, I found I was missing a single sock from another pair that I really like. I started wondering if the sock fairy was playing games with me.... I managed to find it in other clothes....

Twitches

How do I explain that night twitches that da wif has as she dozes off at night?

Twitches


It starts with a finger
or maybe an elbow.
I lay there wondering
what is next?
Will it be gentle?
Quick?
A whole arm?
A foot?
A leg?

Will I be hit?
Does my knee have
to suffer?

Do I twitch too?

Poem for Goose

Written for our deaf cat Goose

Your world
Silent.
You sense
Movement.
A touch from me
Brings purrs.

You sing
But do you hear?

We sneak up on you,
You change your tune.

What do you want?
You respond to the
Female big one.

You dance.
You circle.
You give head butts.

You return.
To your safe haven.
The pillow.
The place you spend
Most of your day.

We move your haven
You go with it.
Are you safe?

Are you happy and content
As a deaf cat?

Ode to a clock

What else can I say to it?

You seem to be stuck.
0:54
You were reset and ran
for a while.
Did your oscillator
quit?
Did one of your dividers
add?
What caused you to
stop?
Your owner is not willing
to give up on you yet.
Your life giving power
will soon be removed.
Your brightness
will be no more.
Your disposal
seems certain.
All because of
being stuck.

Thoughts from a few days ago

Thoughts for Wednesday
Starting the day off reading Psalm 31 inspired me. Jesus cried out his last words having complete trust in God, his father. I remembered hearing this before but now that I am reflecting on it, why wasn’t it more important to me to note that Jesus prayed up until the end. His last words were in prayer. His last words are in utmost trust, even in the darkest, most painful time in his life. He trusted.

I felt the need to spend more time in prayer today and I went upstairs to my room but I did not shut the door because the cats were asleep on the bed. I lit the candle and sat down and began my process of emptying myself so I can quiet inside. After a period I heard a cat jump off the bed. I went back to being quiet when I heard a cat scratching himself off to my left. I looked left and there was Goose staring at me in the doorway. I ignored him. He then walked in and brushed the side of the wall, brushed the front of my legs, jumped up on the bed, walked around and took a position looking out the window. I continued to ignore him. After some period, he jumped down off the bed and walked under my legs ensuring he brushed my legs with his tail. I ignored him. I guess I should keep the door shut no matter what.

I did feel well enough to go out for a ride. My nose had been bothering me for a few days and it kept me from sleeping well. I went out and on my return, I was in Reston when I was getting ready to cross a road where I knew I had the right of way when I noticed a SUV approaching. It appears mom was too preoccupied talking on her cellphone, adjusting something down to her right with a child in a car seat in the rear. She never looked up and saw me. I would have been a bump as she drove over me. In Vienna, I approached an intersection that I did not have any right of way on and stopped to wait for traffic to clear. A mini-van stopped and flashed it’s lights to let me cross. Tale of two stories. One of thankfulness and one of thankfulness. Thanks to God for telling me to watch that person and thanks to that person for being kind to me.
I sit in an empty house that I have seen hundreds of persons at. Dorothy’s spirit is here. You can feel it. The love she had for hospitality is still here.

More middle of the night writing

I awake feeling refreshed.
I lay there waiting for the alarm
that never comes.
I turn on the TV
Weather for the day?
Why are these people
on TV?
Where is my weather?
The clock
stuck.
Time stands still.
I never liked that clock anyway.

3:52.
I can sleep
some more.
I hope.

Happy Easter

I think my socks are doing the Jesus thing, rising from the dead. I lost another two. I now have another 2 unmatching pairs of socks. So how can I call them pairs? The wash machine is now leaking. I really wonder if the two are related.

Easter services. I gave the quick Sunrise service sermon. It was just too chilly out there this morning. Participated in the other two even playing trumpet at the 11am.
Went home for Chinese takeout and a serious nap. I snored myself awake around 2:20.
I have even finished the paper today!
Life is good.

Easter Vigil Prayer

I ran into a new author. Joyce Rupp. She writes:Thus say God to these bones:"I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live."Ezekiel 37:5
May I have this dance?

there I am
in Ezekiel's valley,
one heap among many,
just another stack of old,
dry bones.

some Mondays
feel this way,
and Tuesdays, too,
to say nothing of
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Lost dreams
and forgotten pleasures,
sold like a soul
to a gluttonous world
feeding on my frenzy
and anxious activity.

but just when
the old heap of bones
seems most dry
and deserted,
a strong Breath of Life
stirs among my dead.

Someone named God
comes to my fragments
and asks,
with twinkling eye:
"May I have this dance?"

the Voice stretches into me,
a stirring leaps in my heart,
lifting up the bones of death.

then I offer my waiting self
to the One who's never stopped
believing in me,
and the dance begins.

I just spent an hour in prayer and reading scripture as part of the Easter vigil. What a quick hour. I found myself tense during my centering prayer, having to become aware enough to ask myself to relax.I felt at ease reading Psalms aloud. I read Psalm 31, 51 and 23.No-one there except me for an hour.

3 AM

If I awake with thoughts in my head, I found it more fun to run with them than to run from them. I call this middle of the night poetry.
3 AM and I awake to the sound of shear silence.
My body is warm, the sweat on my temples runs down into my eyes.
I thirst.
I sense the light in the house.
Why?
I rise and find lights on, realizing I am the guilty.
The project I wanted to finish was interrupted by sleep.
I find cool water to make the warmth subside.
I look outside and see snow on the cherry blossoms.
I suddenly do not feel so warm.
My mind wanders to snow on Roses and the tender, gentle petals.
I return to bed and Alex joins me.
He comes under the covers, curls up next to me, head under my chin.
He purrs himself to sleep. He uses me for warmth.
I listen to the breathing of all the living creatures around me.
Constant. Resting.

The sound of the silence is all around me.

Epiphany by the washer...

This Maundy Thursday has started rather interestingly for me. I had an overdue massage, then went to the church to set up the sanctuary for the service. It is in Taize so we had lots of time for silence. I was so relaxed that I was able to slip right into a meditative state. When the preacher said amen, I about jumped out of my chair.I then went to a Laundromat to wash a down comforter. I sat there reading "Leaving Church" sharing some cookies with a child. (me in a purple tie, him in kid clothes).When BBT quoted Walter Brueggemann, I knew this was so right today."the world for which you have been prepared is taken away from you, by the grace of God".
Our journey through school is ending and on this day, Jesus' journey, for which he is prepared is ending. The world awaits us. By the grace of God.
Grace and Peace. May God bless you this day and everyday.

Monday, Monday

Just a blah kind of day. I have sinus problems and slept extremely bad last night. I had little motivation to do much. I gave in to myself and fear, took a nap and was awakened by a phonecall. Da wif just has this perfect timing. I am praying for my classmates taken a mid-term now. I know they will do well.
I got tired of looking at the leaves and the trash around my house so I raked the leaves and picked up the trash across the street. I even contacted the county on what to do with dumped tires.
I spent some good time in prayer today. I gave into my own fear and let go. I think I should have done this earlier.

I just don't get it.

My missing handkerchief was found in the middle of the floor. Unwashed. Confused? Me too.
Yesterday was quite a long day for me. Of to doctor appontment wher ethey told me my liver levels had risen 20% and we needed to continue to monitor this. OK. After I drove home, I just did not have the heart to drive back to school so I rode bike which meant I had to ride bike to church for a meeting. I have had a sore knee for about 3 weeks but I rode extremely hard through the pain. I just felt good riding. I got home and went for the vitamin M (Motrin) so I could get some sleep.
I have concerns for friends. Praying that they know we care for them and that we love them and want to be with them in their time of need.
Prayer time today needs more work. I just didn't get there today. Searching for my connection.

Mysteries

I know I washed a handkerchief last night. When I went to the dryer, it was not in the laundry nor was it attached to any of the other laundry. A new heaven?

Time to Update

Sleeping is becoming harder and harder. I graduate from seminary and have anxiety as to where I will be next. Doctor appointment at Walter Reed then class then CD group. I hope to find some time for myself today but it does not look promising. Weather looks promising for vike riding the next few days and since I have no classes, watch out world.