Silence

Trying to have silence while the yard crews are doing their work outside.

Praying that this feeling passes. The feeling of being tired. about 4 hours of sleep last night.

Trying to find the right words for a newsletter.

Trying to figure out what is going on in my heart.

I'll just keep praying.

Getting ready

I am going to get out for a ride this morning. I had to shower first. Put on cycling clothing. Make my during ride drink with the help of Chloe who was interested in the all the noise I was making.

Get my bike out, check the tires. Get out the shoes, gloves, pump, helmet, glasses. Now I am waiting for the Tour to get started so I can get out.

I just can not believe it takes so long to get ready to ride.

Socialized Medicine

I am in a socialized medicine system being retired military. I have been sleeping bad so I made an appointment to the sleep center. So I went in and I saw a respiratory therapists who recommended I drink warm milk before going to bed, eat turkey. This is the same thing he said to me two years ago.

So I ran a 2 weeks test with a new machine that said that the pressures are right but I still only managed 4 almost good nights of sleep in 15 days. I bring the my machine back and they say I need to see a doctor in the office. Next appointment is the 14th of August. Months of sleeping bad to 2 weeks of documented sleeping bad to say I need to see a doctor.

I am so tired yet frustrated beyond belief.....

Walking in circles

The Heart’s Blossom. I was at the Cathedral last night for the Labyrinths, quiet time and music.

As I walked to the center I had thoughts (emptying did not happen)

At the center of a Rose.

Being surrounded by beauty

Being present in the center

Being present to others around me

All seeking center

All quiet

Growing

Quieting walking

Passing each other

Making turns on a path

Wondering where the curves, intersections will lead.

A center in silence

Being present in my heart to your heart

Feeling the beauty as the flower slowly unfolds

With me in it.

Flowi, river flow

Great Falls. Spent some quiet time there. (As quiet as all that water is). I makes you stop and think about so much.

Writing for a friend

After the Storm

For Jan

After the storm comes

After the lightening cracks and the heart skips

After the thunder booms and our hearts sink

After the darkness rolls in.

After all the visits and the calls

After hearing the words spoken we know so well

After all of this comes tomorrow

Comes today

When the new day dawns

When the light comes and we realize things have changed

Things are not the same

Someone will be missed

That phone call seeking her voice

The realization of it is a new day

One that will go on from here, but so very different than the ones past

But it is a new day

One where there are friends present for you.

Praying for you.

Giving you comfort

Peace

Being present for you.

Today and tomorrow.

Wondering where the sleep is

These past few months have been hard on me. I have been sleeping awful. I wake up hot.

I wake up with a headache. I wake up thirsty.

What will it be like just to sleep good for a few days in a row and feel better.

Trying to keep a good sleep regime going.

Next to that log that has no problems sleeping.......

No, No, No Saturday

I made plans for a bike ride but my knee said no you don't.  I have finshed my sermon and presentation for tomorrow and have the time but after waking up at 3:40 in pain, I think it is winning.

Off to a big box store for some dirt and plastic edging to keep the dirt inside the area and not washing away.

The rain did wash too much away this week.  Guess I have time to read today.

Needs

I need to get out

I need to install that wire over the vents.

I need to sleep better.

I need to figure out why I feel the way I do.

I need to figure out the question.

Guess I have a lot to do today,

Look out world, here I come.

Up early to hear a presentation

Since returning from Palestine, I sure am getting some interesting invitations to hear presentations.  

Today it is on Arab-Israeli peace.  Some politician is supposed to be there.

Rain

I have got mushrooms growing on mushrooms.

Enough rain already.

Ice Cream

The food pantry had ice cream this week.  A local store closed for remodeling and donated all of its ice cream.  Here I was giving Ben and Jerrys away knowing that I had not had it for a while.

I think I will make a DQ stop.

Home

5 weeks later and I am home.  Palestine was an experience I will not soon forget.  I taught me about hope.  

There is hope.

Always.

Gaza

The Rev. John Angle of the Hope Trust brought a group over to Gaza on Monday.  The issueof  getting through the border was the group had to walk 1.5 miles across the border so they borrowed everyone's rolling suitcases to bring items to the Lighthouse School that they support.

When they got back last night they told us about the checkpoint searching one of their group, a 70 yearold woman form more than three hours including X-rays.  John himself was detained for 2 hours while they asked questions of him like his fathers names and grandfathers names.  

The group arrived back about 5 hours later than they thought and started sharing pictures.

Everything is pretty well flattened and building can not resume.  They destroyed all the factories.

I was talking to one of the group when they said they destroyed the cement factory so there is no way of starting rebuilding.  My comment was that they are attempting to destroy hope.  

 Hope wins...  It always does.  John and his group knows this.

A new thing

Because of timing, I am free this morning. It is a beautiful clear morning and it will get into the mid-60s today so I took advantage of the weather and washed a load of laundry. I then went out and put the clothes on the line on the roof. I have never line dried my clothes. Fumbling with the clothespins, not worrying about matching socks or who sees my underwear.

Sunshine!

I waited a few days and it finally came out.  It only took 20 minutes to make me feel better.

High Anxiety

Serpents and traveling.  Anxiety setting in?  My readings for today seemed to be focused on serpents and traveling and all I could think of was my upcoming trip. I may not be as settled as I seem.

Creator, Sustainer, Redeemer,

Calm my anxiety, Bring peace to my inner being, Slow my thoughts down, Clear my paths of serpents, Slow me down and let me see the obstacles that threaten me. That keep me wandering on the wrong paths.

This I pray, is my journey toward hope.
While I wait for my soul to catch up, my heart to heal.

Amen

Ran Away

I ran off to NY City and saw a musical.  Took a express bus up and would recommend it.  I went to the WTC and looked at the hole there and thought about the tis I would walk to work.  I felt a huge emptiness as I missed something that was my past.

Desire

Psalm 19:9- 10 the fear of the Lord is pure,
   enduring for ever;
the ordinances of the Lord are true
   and righteous altogether.
¹⁰More to be desired are they than gold,
   even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey,
   and drippings of the honeycomb.

Lord,

Do I desire the sweetness in your living?
Do I seek to be righteous within you and with you?
Do I respect what you have taught me and are teaching me?
My prayer today is for listening to your word.
What you will be saying to me as I go out.
What calls me and envelops me to be more that I can be by myself.
For your hope is with me and your love holds me.
This I pray, is my journey toward hope.
While I wait for my soul to catch up, my heart to heal.

Come to Rest

Henry Nouwen writes that the literal translation of pray always is “come to rest”
p. 6 Katheen Norris, Acedia & me.

 

Lord,

May I come to rest in you as you come to rest in me.
My journey this lent is about being restored to you.
My time in this wilderness apart is about reflecting on my past and being made whole in you.
By you.
I know that I am always with you and you are always with me.
I know my journey is about what I have done,
What I have said,
Where I have been.
But Lord,
How can I,
What can I,
What shall I be with you?
New in life and new in creation!
This I pray, is my journey toward hope.
While I wait for my soul to catch up, my heart to heal.
Amen

Where is the sleep?

Sleep was alluding me. The snow is falling in a silent blizzard. But I want it to be all over and I wake up with the world white.

 

Patience and being a patient. Waiting while healing. I was hurting from so much. The hurts of the past were on my mind. My body ached from the weather outside. I sat in bed trying to sleep with words of a song going through my head,

 Oh Lord hear my prayer,
Oh Lord hear my prayer,
When I call
Answer me,
Oh Lord hear my prayer,
Oh Lord hear my prayer
Come and listen to me.
This I pray, is my journey toward hope.
While I wait for my soul to catch up, my heart to heal.

Amen 

Praying for sleep.

floating around

Creator, Sustainer and redeemer,

 

There are times in my life I knew what I was doing, 

Things were so clear.  Things were so right.

Now I feel like I am adrift again.  In a small boat on the sea.

But sometimes lost is where I need to be.

Not knowing my direction doesn’t mean I don’t have one.

There are currents moving me along directions I cannot see.

There are winds that I can feel blowing me along too.

My sea is my wilderness,

My temptations are the things that want me to veer off course.

Even if I don’t know the course.

This I pray, is my journey toward hope.

While I wait for my soul to catch up, my heart to heal.

Amen

Prayer for Today

Crying out in darkness and a reply.

I was sitting and reading when I heard a cat crying.  I was not sure where the cry was coming from so I searched it out.
It appeared Sam had been locked in the garage for some time and was crying out to be released
from his prison, his darkness.
When I opened the door, he was friendly, loving, purred all over me and wanted to be held.  This is so unlike him.

 

I started wondering, Am I like that? 
When I am released from my darkness, do I stay close to God?
Am I changed?  forever?

Most holy and living God,
In the darkness I cry out.
Not certain of being heard.
Yet I cry out.
I cry out in the prison I made,
In the darkness I entered, I cry out,
What I fear most, I have made myself.
When you hear me and let me out of my own prison,
I come close to you,
I stay by you,
Being held by you,
Gazing at you,
Knowing you are loving me.
Blessing me,
Giving me grace and mercy, 
Grace and mercy.
Thank you Lord,
This I pray, is my journey toward hope.
While I wait for my soul to catch up, my heart to heal.

Amen

Heading out

I hope to get out today and cycle around a little.  Making a few visits.

It might be fun.  Weather is beautiful, wish you were here....

I really have Jimmy on the brain.

Mardi Gras

Party like we are crazy, then at midnight, the party is over.  Do we turn into a pumpkin or something?  

I think we should all turn inward and tune in every day and see ourselves as what we are and what we could be.

Party like there is no tomorrow?  No.  Party for today,  but look toward the future.

Giving thank for what is

Gratitude takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God.
   - Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"

Loving Creator,

I am moved today in the new light of your glory to be present.
To remember I am loved as your child.
I am held as your child that goes out and stumbles.
I am blessed that I can cry mercy and receive grace.
I am loved beyond belief.
For all of this, I give thanks.
Today is enough.
Today is a start.
The sun is rising to start a new day.
And I am still blessed.
Thank you.
Amen

Still pondering

I have a prayer group in a few minutes but have a headache and feel pretty bad.  

So do I go?

I think the quiet will do me good and give da wif space to work on homework.

Questions

I have questions about direction and then I get questions on direction.

I think I know what way to go, I try to go that way.

But when I am asked for by other people what way they should be going, I freeze.

The question in my humble opinion is rhetorical.  I can only advise but one needs to figure it out for themselves.

I will always be seeking.  That is in my nature.

The bigger question is what to do when I find the answer?

Hope

Holding out for hope.

Psalm 130 V7

 O Israel, hope in the Lord!
   For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
   and with him is great power to redeem. 

 Great and loving God,

It is I again.
Hoping for a change and redemption,
Singing a new song this morning.
Hoping that I can make a change in the world.
I pray for some change and you make it happen.
I go out into the workd today with your steadfast love.
Knowing that even I can be redeemed in your eyes.
With this I am thankful. 
Ever grateful for your mercy.
Amen

A leaf

A leaf does not fall off, it just lets go.  (Mary Chapin Carpenter)

 

God,

What is it that I am not willing to let go of?

What keeps me connected to what was?

Not willing to see what is.

I pray that I can let go and enjoy the weightlessness of the air as I float from what is to what is.

I may not understand the tree but know I was a part of it.

I now I need to let go of so much but fear is what keeps me hanging on.

 

Lord,

Release me from my fear of the unknown and let me grow and change.

From what is to what will be.

I have it in me.  I just need to allow it to happen.

I give it all to you.

Because it is too big for me.

In the name of Jesus I pray.

Amen

A Spark

God of the seeker,

You gave me a promise.

A promise is a bright spark that has not been born.

It is a longing to hope that we all have.

It is that one most desired warmth we seek.

A promise of always being with me.

Even in the valley of darkness.

I find the spark.

 

When nothing seems to be going right

There is a spark of inspiration.

 

When my way has never seemed clearer.

A spark is with me.

I thank you for always being with me.

Pushing, pulling, rolling, carrying, nudging getting me going again

Because I am always your child.

Amen

Vacare Deo

I read these words yesterday morning.  Then I heard them again.
Someone talking to me??

Vacare Deo.   ---   Making space for God.

Lord,
In these days filled with too much stuff,

Bring me back to center.

The promise that is filled with hope.

The quiet of the morning at dawn.(Sorry for you non-morning people)

Where the world starts again.

The evening where we find rest.

A room where we can be alone.

All of these spaces are big enough for one

but are calling us to make more space.

Space inside ourselves where we can be honest.

Where we can laugh, cry, ponder.

Where we can be honest and say what we feel.

God is waiting for us there.

I need to make room.

I need to make time.

I need to make space

God does.

Amen

Unmovable object

God,

What is unmovable in your eyes?

Can the earth stand against you?

Or is it set in motion like the sun, moon, stars and tides are?

Does everything not move or move?

What comes in the way to put things in motion?

 

I see it as love.

Love is what moves all.

Love is the reason for so much.

Love moves the sun, the stars. 

It set the tides in motion.

It wears down mountains.

It is born in small places.

It grows to be as big as the redwoods.

It is like the wind blowing on the sea.

It is what awakens me to the new day.

With the light and love that is given for me.

It is enough for me.

 

Thanks be to you, Holy One.

Amen

Understand

Lord,

How come I can understand how magnetic lines of flux travel in open air,

yet I can look at a person and not understand what motivates them?

How can I sit and watch snow fall, knowing all the flakes are different

But curse the effects of the slippery road I am traveling?

Lord

I think I understand so much but really understand so little.

The world is so big and I am so small but want and wish for more understanding of things.

I pray for acceptance I what I have learned and seek to understand what my wanderings teach me.

I wish for it to be easy but know it will never be easy.

Life is not easy.

Life happens.

I deal with it.

I thank you for what I have learned and how I learned to deal with life.

I think I understand some of you.

I will never know the answers until one day.

But that one day will be filled with no more questions.

But awe.

Thanks be!

Amen

Pilgrim

Pilgrim.

 

We are all on a journey.

The paths and trails we follow to try to find what we are seeking.

The paths and trails are trials of ourselves

We follow these paths and trails to the sea and ask;

Where is the boat so that we can cross this blue expanse?

 

Somewhere a voice says to us, “build it.”  So we built it and cross the sea.

 

We follow these paths and trails to a deep crevice and stop.

We look over and see the other side and think our journey is at an end.

But we seek to find ways to the other side.

We traverse the trail and path down so can face our fear of the darkness at the bottom.

We slog back up the other side and start on the journey again.

 

We come to another crossing.

A major raging river that no boat can cross.

This river is full of our fears.

The things that scare us.

We stop and ask now what.

Where is the bridge so that we can cross to continue on our journey?

A voice will say to us, “build it.”

“With what?”  We will ask.

 

“It has been provided, you have enough,” is what we hear.

We start to wonder what has been provided.

We stop and let our feelings come over us.

 

We don’t know what to do.

We don’t know where to turn.

We drop to our knees and sob.

A hand reaches out to us and says,

 

You have been provided enough.

Turn around and look.

Your trials along these paths and trails are filled with the blessings you have left.

Look at the faces of those behind you.

 

All along the paths are the flowers that we have left littered by the ones we have touched.

Your path pilgrim is not complete. 

There are more flowers to be left and people to touch.

Our journey is still on.

Pilgrim.  You have enough.

Just ask for help.

Life on the 20th

This happened yesterday.
I went to the bus stop expecting to catch a bus then take a train to downtown to watch the inauguration. I had just missed one bus when another one pulled up. It said “Special” on the side and the bus driver yelled out “Hop on, free ride” So I got on and so did everyone else. The bus was full yet I had no idea where I was going. The bus pulled away and stopped at a light and allowed a family to cross the street and get on too.
The bus then gets on the highway which was empty of cars and drives us straight into the city and drops us all off 1 block from where I wanted to be.
What a wonderful start to the day. It was something that the day gifted me.

God of gifts.
Would I know that I need to get on the bus when it comes by?
Would I see the joy and excitement on the faces of your children?
Would I have faith to go where it takes me?
Lord I pray that I can always trust so much.
For you lead me to places that are wonderful.
Your grace keeps me warm.
Your children surround me with excitement.
I just need to be willing to get on.
Amen

A prayer for prayer 2 January 2009

Gifts: Prayer

Prayer and love are learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible and the heart has turned to stone.

   - Thomas Merton

 

Lord God,

I thank you for the gift of prayer,

The gift of conversation with you.

The gift of you answering in ways I understand

In ways I seek to understand.

And to be understood.

I pray that my words are  enough

My actions are with my prayer,

My love, grace and peace, fitted to service in you.

Today and tomorrow.

May it be so.

Amen

 

 

 

I am on hiatus for a few days.  I will be in Israel.  If I am able, I will send out a prayer.

A Prayer for the New Year

Gifts: Wonder

Mark 9:15  As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

Holy and Loving God,
I thank you for the wonder given to us, for us.
As I
Wonder about your love,
Wonder about your grace,
Wonder about why you love even me.
I wonder about what keeps drawing me to you.
And I know it is irristable grace.
A reason for wonder.
As I start this new year I am full of wonder.
Wonder for peace.
Wonder for love
Wonder for joy.
And I am thankful I have this wonder
Amen

New Year's Eve 2008 Prayer

Gifts: Peace

 

I choose to end this year wishing you peace.

Thanking God for the peace that is here.

Praying for peace.

May we all wage peace this upcoming year.

May peace be with you.

So be it today.

So be it tomorrow.

Amen

Prayer for 30 DEcember 2008

"When perfect love has driven out fear, or fear has been transformed into love, then everything that has been saved will be a unity growing together through the one and only Fullness, and everyone will be, in one another, a unity in the perfect Dove, the Holy Spirit."

  - Gregory of Nyssa, "Homilies on the Song of Songs," 15

 

Gifts: Reconciliation.

1.	an act of reconciling or the state of being reconciled.

 

2.	the process of making consistent or compatible.

 

Loving and Holy Creator,

I thank you for your reconciliation of us to you,

This by your initiation.

With being made right to you I should be able to make peace with my neighbor,

I should learn to live with my neighbor,

I should be able to listen to my neighbor.

But I don’t,

I still hate,

I still take what isn’t mine.

I treat my neighbors worse than I treat myself with rules and walls

Lord,

Forgive me

Help me tear down these walls and break the rules so I can return to being compatible with my neighbor.

For we all live together and have the same goals.

Living and loving.

Together.

I thank you for the gift of reconciliation which transforms.

Amen

A Prayer for Monday 29 December 2008

Gifts: Freedom
How do I value freedom with Christ?
2 Corinthians 3:17 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Loving God,
Where you are,
We are free.
Freedom from so much,
Freedom from the darkness that scares me.
Freedom from hate that hides you.
Freedom is being set free from all this and being free to see the world through your light.
Through your love.
Freedom is having the weight of the world lifted from me.
Freedom is knowing you have lifted my chains, lifted my weights, lifted my fears and set them free.
I thank you for the gift of freedom and I pray that I live in your freedom,
Giving as much as I have received.
Amen

Signs

What does this say to you?

A prayer for 28 December 2008

Gifts, Hope

Romans 5:5  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

 

 

Glorious God,

Hope is all around,

I hope for a beautiful day knowing it will rain,

But to someone, hope is fulfilled.

I hope for a life that is full,

I hope I will only know if it is fulfilled later.

I hope for the resurrection of my soul.

I hope for laughter and love to be always near,

I hope for better days,

I hope for snowy morning,

I hope for peace in the world,

But Hope will never disappoint me.

For hope is a gift,

Not a wish.

 

Thanks be to God,

Amen

A Prayer for 27 December 2008

Gifts, Joy.

Deuteronomy 16:15  For the LORD your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete.

Acts 8:8  ⁸ So there was great joy in that city.

I have picked a few things that I see as a gift and put them on my calendar to pray about.  I picked joy for this day and I was so surprised when a devotional I receive daily also was about joy. A coincidence? Maybe.

 

God of Joy,

May I be complete in you,

May I see the joy in this day,

The love in this day,

The Peace in this day.

But Lord,

I pray for those who can not see your joy,

Who miss your love,

Who need us to be present with them.

 

I hope for joy in this world to be complete,

So that when I sing Joy to the world

Joy is in the world.

I thank you for your gift of joy.

Amen

A Prayer for 26 December 2008

Gifts, Faith.
2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.

Creator of the heavens,
I live by faith,
A gift I hold fast too,
Something that I cannot explain,
Just something that gives me a reason to look at the light of your love.
A faith that sees through darkness,
A faith that finds the light.
A faith that is based on your love,
Your gift to me.
Thanks be to God,
Amen

My Prayer for Christmas 2008

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace, The gladness of Christmas give you hope, The warmth of Christmas grant you love.

   ~Author Unknown

 

Advent is over.  The time of waiting and preparing is over.  It is time now to experience the gift of Christmas.  My focus the next 12 days will be on gifts.

 

Giving God,

You have come again,

Your gift today is Love,

May my heart experience this love as it is made new,

Again and again.

As I learn about your love,

As I take your love and regift it.

Because there is enough to go around.

This Christmas I am learning to so thanks.

Thank you for love.

Amen

Christmas Eve Prayer

Something’s coming! 

I love West Side Story and it is in revival here in town so the advertisements are playing hourly.  I keep thinking about the excitement of this day and this is my prayer for us.

 

Lord,

Something is coming!

The shepherds in the field have heard it.

Mary has heard it.

Something new.

The excitement is in the air,

May my heart feel this today,

May the unexpected be the expected,

May you in my life be made new again,

Coming to make a change in my world.

Where peace reigns,

Love survives,

Joy blossoms.

And I see you in my world around me.

This year I wait.

Excitedly wait.

With anticipation in my heart.

Amen

Prayer for 22 December 2008

A frozen world

A world that stops as everything stops moving,

A world that is hard to live in.

A world that needs changing,

Thawing,

But in this world is beauty,

The snow covers up so much,

Under the ice, the water still flows,

The light is just a bit longer

Just a bit (exactly 7 seconds today).

There is life coming.

This is the world you chose and choose to enter.

Come,

Warm me with your love, light and warmth,
Come,

Change my world,
Come.
In your mercy, hear me.

Amen

A prayer for 22 December 2008

Faith is planting a seed when there is no sign of rain and no clouds in the sky.
Faith is saying yes to something you believe in, Not knowing what the future holds.
Faith is troubling,
Faith is all I have today because of the hope I have in the messiah.
One who comes to save.
Save with peace.
Save with love,
Save with justice.
Save in ways that do not point to a warrior but a child.
A person building from the position of love and peace will build a new world.
A new world will come.
A real peace will come.
A child will lead them.
May Christmas be in my heart this year.

Thanks be to God.

Amen

a view

A frozen world,
Ice glazed.
Birds dancing on the deck,
Blue skies.
When the sun hits the trees it begins to rain,
The rain that was once frozen to the limbs comes alive.
It drops upon the ice on the ground and makes the glaze appear to float.
Once slick,
Now mush.
Only to freeze again when the sun goes away.

A Prayer for 21 December 2008

Excerpt from Inward/Outward email dated 20 Dec 08

It is very remarkable that we face the thought that God is coming so calmly, whereas previously peoples trembled at the day of God, whereas the world fell into trembling when Jesus Christ walked over the earth. We have become so accustomed to the idea of divine love and of God's coming at Christmas that we no longer feel the shiver of fear that God's coming should arouse in us.  (Dietrich Bonheoffer)

 

God of the morning,

We should be in awe,

We should be shouting in the fields,

We should be running through the streets shouting,

“You better be ready”

We see the coming birth as a day of a child,

But it is for me,

For if there is no birth,

There is no death and ressurection,

The real gift of life for me.

 

 

I pray my heart is on fire for you today.

While I await your coming.

Come and bring peace.

Amen

A prayer for Saturday 20 December 2008

I was ready to be sought by those who did not ask for me;
I was ready to be found by those who did not seek me.
I said, ‘Here am I, her am I,’ to a nation that did not call on my name.
Isaiah 65

Great and Loving Creator,
What can I do?
What can I say?
How does my heart respond to your prophet’s words?
I ask this today as I watch my world around me.
As I seek to answer the questions.
As my heart reaches to you,
May my answer see you in the world.
Reaching,
Loving,
Giving,
That is you in my life.
With your grace I respond today,
Amen

A prayer for Friday 19 December 2008

Loving God,
You come to those in fields,
You come to those on walks,
You come to those when we are not ready.
But you are ready to change us.
If only we are more willing to listen.
Listen and be ready.
For you do come.
And you keep trying to reach me.
May I just be long enough to be reached.
In your mercy,
Hear my prayer.
Amen

Prayer for 18 December 2008

Feeling hope.
Holy and Loving God,
I wait for the light, feeling some hope,
The hope that comes with that little feeling
The hope that comes with answered prayers,
The hope that comes with a purpose for your children
The hope that holds fast to the you.
Because you are faithful,
You are faithful.
You are faithful.
With your faith in me I have hope for myself.
No matter what, you don’t give up on me.
You keep reaching out to me.
I just need to be open to your reaching.
May I reach back today.
Amen

A prayer. 17 December 2008

God,
I know you are present today,
I know that you love me,
Even me.
I know that your love is freely given
Yet for me to give it, I put on conditions.
Lord,
Open me to the love so that I can learn to give it more.
And see you in the love I give to others,
For this is what the coming of Christ is all about,
Love coming to us,
Abiding with us,
Giving to us so that we can be renewed,
Made new.
See you again this year.
As a child from the heart of this child.
In your love I pray,

Amen

A Prayer for December 16th 2008

“Christmas itself does not change. It is we who change, and the world we inhabit.” From essays on Theology, 15 Dec 2008
Fr Richard P. McBrien is the Crowley-O’Brien Professor of Theology at the University of Notre Dame.


God of today,
I am looking for change but I see it differently today,
I want to change things but I see I need to change,
I need to stop,
I need to see the world,
I need to pray for my friends,
I need to understand my world,
I need to Christmas to be made new again.
Where it is about a child and change.
Where light comes and darkness fades.
Where my heart is loosened and fears are set free
Where peace reigns
Where love prevails,
Where my neighbor is set free from oppression.
May this be the change in my world this Christmas.
Lord, give me strength today.
Amen

A Prayer for Monday, December 15th 2008

Prepared.
Prepared for what is coming?
This is what I got from reading the lectionary scriptures for this week.
I was singing a gospel song “You gonna be ready?” since then.

Most loving God,
You use me in ways I can never imagine.
You tell me not to be afraid.
You are with me.
You are coming.
So I ask out loud, Am I ready for this?
Am I ready to go out?
Am I ready to listen?
Am I ready to pray without ceasing?
Am I ready to see a light in a new way?
Am I ready?

I can only pray and ask that you prepare me Lord God.
In the ways you use me.
Ready me
Amen

Praying

Wanting so much, needing so little. I keep wondering. Will it?

Slow Sunday

A day to read the paper, magazines and books. Too bad I was out of my favorite tea. I have to fix that.

Sighting this week

Monday - Heavy traffic.
Tuesday - The riderless horse being escorted to the old chapel by an honor guardsman. Beautiful horse.
Wednesday - Extremely heavy traffic in Georgetown. Cars double parked.
Thursday - A beehive and beekeeper while out for a walk
Friday - Snow and over 30 power generating windmills in PA.
Saturday - I went back to the beehive and took pictures. Deer while out for a bikeride.

Not wanting too

Whatever that means. I feel I am in limbo, trying to figure so much out on my own.

I think I need to ask more.

What do I do?

At 7am in the bike lane on the Key Bridge, a bridge between Washington DC and Arlington VA, two of the wealthiest communities in this country, I almost ran over a sleeping homeless person. It was below 40 and the only shelter is the jersey wall that keeps the traffic from going onto the bike path. This person was asleep. Curled up. Countless people had passed by him this morning. I did too. I wondered too late if he was alright.

Which way?

Sometimes this sign says it all.

Fall

A leaf hangs
Suspended in a spider web.
caught between
Hanging and being on the ground
One life over,
Now getting ready to rest on the ground.
Fall,
the colors explode
Once green, now orange, yellow, brown
Once, so alive,
Now getting ready for the big sleep of winter.
Life slowing down
A time of rest,
As we wait for a return to living.

A bin of Bread

Holy Lord,
Is it enough,
Will it meet the needs,
Yesterday’s bread to someone is today’s bread to someone.
What was once fresh, has a second chance,
For the people in this world who see the need and respond,
Thanks,
For those who are hungry,
Bless them,
For us who want to help,
Guide us,
For the bread,
Make it enough.
Just for today.
Tomorrow is another day and I’ll worry about it then.
Amen

BikeDC

My days of living dangerously have continued,
I rode up the middle of Massachusetts Ave and Pennsylvania Ave.
I wanted to stop and lay in the middle of the road but I was having too much fun,
I also wanted to stop and take a picture with 0 cars in the road too.
There were puddles to be ridden through,
New friends to meet.
A rest stop at the residence of the Ambassador from Taiwan,
Tricycle races(I passed on this one)
It was BikeDC and we rode around town with no cars on the road.
It was so much fun (and safe).

Humbled

Riding home yesterday was a new experience. A sI was riding through Fort Myer, I came up on the horse drawn carriage going back to the caisson after another day of the last trip for this veteran. The beauty of the horses. The spit and polish of the carriage.
The slow, somber walk of the horses.
Made me slow down for a while.

Seeking

Spiritual direction.  I am contacting different persons about who/what/where next.  Journeys sometimes take paths that are difficult to understand.  This is my time to pray about it.

3rd Time is the charm

Bee sting, 3rd time this summer.
Lower leg so Benadryl works just fine. I am riding home and pass a man and woman walking a big red lab/setter mix when I feel it and starting yelling ow, ow, ow, ow and pull over. I swat the bee off and the couple was looking at me like I was nuts. I said it was a bee sting and they were amazed that a bee had flew into me and stung me.

Now for the week of itching to come.
May I pray that the rest of the bees just pass me by.

Awakenings

Having a kitten lick your eyes while I want to sleep. Guess I need to teach them to tell time.

Fading

Letting it all fade away. Calming myself. Letting go.
I think this is where I am today.

What was that?

After the worst Monday ever, Tuesday was bearable. I was watching a squirrel in the back yard grabbing a stick then rolling down the hill. A squirrel playing? Rolling around down the hill? That was really a first. Wish I had my camera with me then.

Hanging out

Praying a lot. Thinking about others. Wanting this knee pain to be gone.
Wondering. That is what it is about today.

Knowing

It is time. I know it. I made the appointment. Vet tech irked me when I explained to him that I had been in twice in the past month and the situation was only worse. I have to do something I find hard.

Cowabunga kitties

Getting two kittens has been fun. They jump at everything and everyone.

Waiting

Watching Alex. Is it time?
He has spark but his legs are failing him.

Itch

Bee sting turned to a real itch. It took three days before it got better.

Stung!

Again. I got stung last week when something flew down my jersey.. Today I got it on the inseam, real upper inseam. How to ruin a ride. I turned around and went home. Putting anti-itch cream on. Since each time there was no stinger left, I am thinking wasp or yellowjacket. Either way I think I need a break from them.

Celebrating

Alex has gained a half a pound in 2 weeks. That is good news. He is up to 5.6 pounds. He even looks happy. Happy with no teeth.

Wondering

Is this lion going to eat me?

Me watching a lion on the Seregeti plain.

Wildlife

There are signs of spring everywhere. I went to trim bushes around the house and I discover a robin nesting in a holly bush. Me and I’ll say she kind of startled each other. I agreed to give her a wide birth for the next few weeks.
I was cleaning my bicycle car also. The bushes are still flowering which means they are full of bumble bees. I made a deal with them; I leave you alone and you leave me alone. It seems to be working.
Stoopid (I know) woodpecker. There is a woodpecker who has not figured out that the trim on the house is aluminum. Every few days you hear rat-tat-tat-tat and it shakes you to the bone. I think I have seen the culprit at the bird feeder. I have to wonder about this one….
Squirrels. They are digging up all the mulch around the house. I have to level it off every few days. Another funny thing is watching a squirrel running with a hamburger bun in it’s mouth. I will throw out old bread, buns, tortillas into the yard for the wild life instead of putting it in the trash. I had to smile watching this squirrel bounding through the yard with a hamburger bun in it’s mouth. It was a funny sight to see.

Adventures in lawnmowing

Sheer terror and fear that drains the blood out of you. Doesn’t sound much like lawn mowing does it? It is. After 3 days of rain we get a nice, sunny dry day before another day of rain. I had decided to mow the lawn because it was looking kind of bad for tomorrow. All my neighbors had the same idea so here we all are, out doing yard work except for me, it didn’t start that way.

Sheer fear. I went out to get the lawnmower out of the shed. There is a flowering tree out back right above the shed and it is in full bloom. I opened the door and noticed a loud hum above my head so I looked up and saw that the tree was full of honeybees. The blood drained from me. My first thought was “Where is my Epipen?” I remembered I keep it with my helmet and I have told “da wif” where the other ones are. I did get the lawnmower out and then brought it around front to “da wif’s” car where she has a plug in pump for tires. I got the tires all pumped up and everything put away so it was time to start mowing…

Sheer terror. I had left it in gear when I turned the lawnmower off, so when I pulled the starter line, it leaped away from me so here I was trying to turn it off, trying to turn it away from “da wif’s” car and other things in the yard. I managed to turn it off, get my wit about me and then mowed the lawn. I wonder what it looks like to be in sheer terror.
I am done mowing, now I smell like onions…..

Buzzing about

Spring. It is in the air and all over everything too. Cars are yellow. We are sneezing quite frequently. Bees are about. Their buzzing is loud, or I thought. Lots of bumble bees out front and I thought the buzzing was them. Then is heard a shift in the drone and realized it was the race cars again. Come on Monday morning, so I can be through with another race weekend.... Lots of bumble bees out front. Here is one!

They don't get it

Remember from the Wizard of Oz?
Lion, tigers and bears oh my!
I think the people today are saying;
Iraq, elections, economy, oh my!
When I heard Darth Cheney's comments on the death toll in Iraq I was shocked,
"You regret every casualty, every loss," he said. "The president is the one that has to make that decision to send young men and women into harm's way. It never gets any easier."

Duh, Why did you send them in the first place?
Money?? Power? Oil?

You missed the whole point of serving the people. Not for you own good but for the good of all people.

Funeral

A funeral on Holy Saturday. The church was packed and the service went on for over two hours. The music was great and the preaching touched me. Life in a small community reaches out and touches you sometimes. Rest in peace Lady Di.

Up to my ears

That is how I feel now. So much to do, prioritize and then get back to it. Must make it past Sunday........

Seasons Change

had to mow the lawn this week. My wife thought I was nuts. There are flowers everywhere. I am sneezing like crazy. There is noise. It sounds like racecars. Not like I live 5 miles from the racetrack but I do. We can still hear them. The local newspaper is showing all these drivers who I have no idea who they are. The big race here is on the 30th. The nuts will be in town and all the advertisements will be out.

Sightings at a funeral

Delivery to a cemetery!

I just had a funeral service for a wonderful man in my community. It was bright but chilly and the birds were singing. The people were telling me about the birds they saw and the others they heard during the service.

Me and the funeral directors had a different view. Dominos Pizza making a delivery into the cemetery during the service. We (the persons facing the street) were trying to figure out who ordered pizza.
A last wish?
A really late delivery?

Easter Thoughts

Flowers everywhere. Signs of new life. Life emerging from the ground.

Death and Life? Symbols? What does it mean.

Getting into the Bible belt has really gotten to me. Going to my least favorite big box store,

You know the one; the ones that sucks the small businesses out of the economy and provided low paying jobs without a whole lot of benefits. (A Social sermon for another day)

I am walking by and what do I see? Easter Baskets. Not the kind you would normally see but ones with toys in it Still not catching on? Toys that are not about the Easter Message. How about Army Men and a Tank for your child in their Easter Basket. I felt anger at their secular approach to the whole reason for the Christian Church. New Life. Light that beats death. Life that is abundant. Not this:

Copy Cat

Last cat post for a while. Me and my copier have a love/hate relationship. I love to hate it and it gets back at me. Just wait, when you have 5 minutes and need 30 copies of something when you got to be there, it will start jamming.


I see Alex has started seeing if there are any little elves in it.

Sneaking up on Boo Radley

This has nothing to do with:
http://www.bookrags.com/notes/tkm/CHR.htm
but it has to do with playing some lined out music that I had recorded from a Primative Baptist Choir. It is similar to a bagpipe the way the people slide into notes and the leader gives a line the people sing and while they are singing he give another line.

I was playing some and it spooked Alex. He hid for more than 2 hours. I wonder if he is scared of bagpipes.

Anointed or Owned?

Goose has been a trip recently. Whenever the sunspot goes away, he comes to the room we are in, meows at us then bids us to follow. We have this game we call "Chase Chase". He always initiates it by coming to us and meowing, we follow and chase him from room to room. This can go on for 5 to 10 minutes and all over the house with Goose tearing from room to room. The funny part is, it is so easy to sneak up on a deaf cat.

When he is ready, he will run to the bed and invite us to come and join him. He usually then, licks our forehead, headbutts us, and purrs really loud. It is an anointing by Goose. I also know he owns us. Not bad to be owned by a cat who 6 years ago would run from me.(We adopted hm then)

Goose left - Alex right

Screaming

Another leak. Another leaky roof. I have to wonder about things around here with all the leaking roofs. Maybe it is me screaming at the process in general. Silent Prayer.

Ice, Ice Baby

How unpoetic..... A vanilla ice rap song. I am content with my coffee and things I need to do today. No hurry. No worry. Peace, Quiet. Love.
Thinking about one of those Caribbean cruises I have been on.

Another Mystery – Solved!

I have been waking to a light being on in the bedroom and I did not turn it on. I come home and the lamp is on and I know it was off. We have touch lamps on nightstands that make life easy when we turn them on or off when we need light. To have them come on by themselves had me wondering.
I know whenever we had a power flux, they might come on but it was just happening too frequently so I thought they were failing.
I was in there yesterday and the phone rang and the light came on. I found out the why!!!
It appears when I moved some power cords I had crossed the phone line over the power cord. EM interference. I thought I had retired from this kind of stuff.
At least I don’t have the lamps going on anymore….

Lunch Buddy

I was asked to be a lunch buddy at one of the local elementary schools. I signed up, went through the mandatory background checks, then said I am available to anyone that needs a buddy. I was assigned a 3rd grader. This has been so much fun because I go in every few weeks and sit down at tables about half human size and eat fine dining, elementary school style. I also see kids from the local churches and neighborhoods that know me. It is so funny to see the smiles and waves from all of the kids. Well today, I had lunch with my “Honor roll lunch buddy” as I called him. He smiled and it was good to see him start to relax. I just love seeing all the smiles and hearing the stories from them. The kids in trouble for break dancing during PE. The kids having a silent lunch for talking out of turn. The strange things you can do with ketchup. I think this is a break from the past two weeks I have had. Seeing young ones is always a treat.

Excited

I was working last night on stuff and I kept hearing strange noises on the roof. I went out and found out it was sleeting, freezing rain and snowing. Sweetie has 1 inch of snow for her B'Day. I was exited enough to call out in German to her. Shades of getting snowed on in Munich and Salzburg. Those are good memories. 5 Years ago in Arlington when MIL got stuck with us for 5 days because of the blizzard....... you decide.

12:59 AM

I woke up again this morning soaked and hot but this time I had the Goose on me. He was asleep on my chest. I moved him and Alex moved in for his purr time. Goose them proceeded to stomp me and did circles over my head and around me. I do not think I slept well last night.

So here is Goose in a face plant on the bed.

Don't we all wish we could sleep this well?

Lent

A new journey. A new time. I am hoping to have more prayer time this year. I think that is what I am taking on. More time in silence. A thought in this world of noise and confusion.
Lord, open me to walk with you.

Mardi Gras

Great Tuesday is the literal translation. Eat and drink like there is no tomorrow because tomorrow you may die. Guess what? Everyday is like Mardi Gras. A gift. I think I might just be a little down today. 75 outside and I have to work. Really have to but it is my calling. Maybe I should put my bicycle outside so it remembers what warm weather is all about.