Lent

It was 6am and I was laying in the chaplain on-call bed reading a friend's sermon that I was going to give comments on.(couldn't sleep)

She wrote:

Lent is a season during which we look inward and reflect upon our own lives.

I would add that lent is a journey we take too. One where we know that it ends at the cross but how we get there is why we are looking inward and discovering what it means to be a follower of Christ.

So as I drove home thinking about this I realized how I am looking at the cross and not Easter. I remember being chastised by a professor about getting to Easter without the cross. The cross is a sign of violence and death and we have to get to it in order to have resurrection. So I was thinking that I follow life not death so I am still hung up on the cross.

Fading

Letting it all fade away. Calming myself. Letting go.
I think this is where I am today.

Feelings after a Visit

I visit
There is light, barely.
Your eyes don’t have that smile I remember
You look at me or it feels like you are looking through me.
Where is the curl in the corner of your lips?
I am talking to you but there is no response.
I hold your hand, it is cool to the touch.
The bed alarms are making noises.
I pray for you. I ask for blessings for you.
I say goodbye and I struggle.
Mary, Your life was once so full.
Now you just lie in bed.
Are you there?
I am I reaching you?