I have been reading about myths of family and myths that are perpetuated along family lines. I sat here wondering what life would have been like for me if I had ended up with X, Y or Z. I guess I will never know but am happy where I am.

just one of those days

I am not sure how to start this. I know it has been a long time since I blogged and I know I have had 3 glasses of wine.
I received a call yesterday from a patient's family. Patient had been discharged a few months back for extended prognosis, otherwise known as you ain't dying fast enough. The patient suddenly died in the morning and the family requested I go "pray over him" since he was not a religious man. I spent more time talking to the patient about his life which is how I supported him. He really enjoyed the interaction with someone that was not suffering through dementia. I called the other team members that had taken care of him to let them know he had died and today I went to see him. I offered prayers for him and told him(or his body) that he had been a good person and had taken care of all his passengers and even married one. (He was a bus driver)
So strange to see a person in a cheap box for cremation. He was clean and looked good. You know, it is not the first time seeing a dead person, but I missed the conversations we had. He was a good man.
I am just ashamed that he is all alone now. No family, no love. Not the way I hope to die.

Sidelined

So I go out for a normal 40 mile ride. I am climbing the hill by my house to get home when I hit a pothole, a wheel-sucking pothole that took me out. My shoulder took the brunt of the fall and I broke helmet #6(Over 22 years). I was on the hook for training at 11 and delivering food for 65 homeless people but was able to get the times moved for both of these so I could go to the ER. I showered when I got home and cleaned myself up, best as I could. I knew things were getting bad when I could no longer lift my arm up. I get there and the docs found every sore spot on me. I did not realize that my hip was really bruised too. Xrays were negative as for breaks but getting the Xrays was a very painful experience. They scrubbed my wounds gave me a tetanus shot, a prescription for serious pain killers and sent me home with the warning it is going to hurt worse tomorrow. So far, no pain killers but I am sore and uncomfortable.

Weather is supposed to be cool the next 2 days and I can't ride.

Arg...

Off to church.....

Remembering Christmas Past

Rachel. I held her three years ago as I baptized into the Church. I wonder how she would grow up if she had the chance. She did not.
I was sitting with a woman who found a tumor in her chest and was worried about celebrating Christmas. I wonder how she is.
I figure that I may never know, but the memories still serve me.

This Christmas I am remembering those I sat with this year as their light faded. Lord, Bless them. You are not forgotten by me.

My brain hurts

Sleep is still an issue for me. My heart is still trying to figure out so much.

Is getting old allowed?

I am reading about others having babies and those babies having babies. Watching life move is humbling and a cause for regret. I keep wondering what if. I guess what if is better than why.

Beach

Hoping to as little as possible this week. I have 5 books and tons of time. Sand will be between my toes and sun in my receding hair. But I will be happy.

Riders in the Storm

Rain, Wind. Hurricane Irene is coming by and it has delayed things for me. Happy that I did get out for a bike ride this morning.

Keeping myself busy by watching a DVD.